¿ABSURDITY?

As societies grow bigger and bigger and the earth becomes a less healthy place to live in, we realize that we have an unquenchable desire for answers. Yes, human beings have always wanted answers. Some existential questions where put on the table, for instance: Does God exist? How was the universe created? Does Santa Claus exist? What is good? etc. Also more personal questions were heard, for instance: Why am I so ugly? Dude, where is my car? Will you ever grow up? We have got some good answers too, for instance: yes or not, big bang and “Coca-Cola created it. It was just meant to be an advertisement”. Also some simple answers for personal questions, like: “don’t ask me, ask Snowwhite’s magic mirror”, “you’ve no car”, “Do you want to?” As amazing as it sounds some questions are accepted to have another question as an answer.
But in the end we all know that the truth is relative and there will never be an absolute one. The lack of answers has a cause, such cause happened more years ago than what we can think of and you are about to hear about it for first time!Everything started with Adam standing completely naked in the middle of the Garden of Eden. Now, you would think the first thing he would ask himself would had been “who or what am I?” But it wasn’t that what he first questioned himself.
Last night I was enlightened by a ghost from the past and he told me how everything happened, so listen.
Getting back in the story, the truth is that Adam did not need to ask himself those kind of questions. In those times there was some kind of sociable God who would give him all the answers he needed; therefore, life became boring for Adam. Those times interactive God felt sorry for Adam so HE created a woman for Adam; but the only thing this brought along was the potential beginning of a bored humanity. God knew that if he wanted Adam and Eve to be happy he had to use his best creation so far – Absurdity. He knew humanity was not ready for it (humanity = Adam + Eve) but he was desperate. So his will was done. And that is how Dolby Audio Digital God created apple trees and snakes, which he later corrected taking their legs away but that is another story. However, God’s master plan was to ban apple eating and so it was.
Curiosity, the first-born of absurdity, took over Adam’s and Eve’s disgraceful lives. And it was then when things started getting out of control and The Seven were born: lust, greed, gluttony, etc (you know all the others, if not then watch the movie). An underground market of apples controlled by “snake” grew bigger and bigger. Thus, God felt defeated by absurdity, his own invention, so he fired Adam and Eve and closed the Pub. God sought a good strategy to recover his domains, he even tried sending some people on his name, but it didn’t quite work. We haven’t heard of Him ever since, some say he went to some other dimension on vacation.
Anyway life in general was recorded… ups sorry that’s a MXPX disc, I will try not to digress from the main topic. So life went on in the earth and absurdity became everything for Adam and Eve.
What happened after is history, but somehow humanity fed up with absurdity, but it was already too late. So with an antisocial God having fun in some other dimension, we stayed here hungry of answers, putting a WHY to everything. Isn’t this absurd? Well, what isn’t?
But then what would be of us without absurdity? I kind of have the answer to this.
Yesterday I was watching the news on TV, and this very amusing report was showed. A guy had stolen a package of ribs from a supermarket, which by the way were on sale! (Cheaper than usual… just in case...). Once he left the supermarket police started chasing him. As desperate as he was he jumped into a 5 meter deep sewer on the street. Police officers thought he was trapped down there, so they called a rescue team to get the thief out of his accidental prison. The hilarious part of the story is that while police was rescuing him, the man had managed to get out of the sewer but from another hole. So as police struggle to rescue him he was talking to reporters and saying how was possible that a thief had jumped in there! The police did not realize of it until the thief was taking a public bus… unfortunately the guy was caught and taken to jail. All this just for some ribs!
I also once heard of an Afro-American guy in a wheelchair who robbed a bank. This man handed a note to the bank cashier in which he was asking for 1500$. The cashier, who was quite smart, put 200$ in a bag and handed it to him without saying a word. The thief left happy, but once he counted the money outside he felt cheated and offended. So this great thief went back into the bank and complained about it, but as unbelievable as it sounds he accused the cashier of being racist!
Where am I going with all this? The point is that without absurdity we wouldn’t have these kind of events happening and life wouldn’t be this fun!There also are dark sides of absurdity of which I am not going to talk about now. What I am writing today is supposed to make you happy and make you smile; we will have time for sadness later.
Therefore my dear readers wake up every morning feeling glad of how absurd things are. ENJOY!